1. Snell my Hitchcock
2. BJackstone and Max P (tie)
7. The Blintstones
10. Team Lanie
and finally, with 0 points,
11. A T-Rex Ate My Team
Also, some highlights from page 4 of this year's list, which I judged:
- 57. A colossally abundant number of chocolate chip cookies, served by an untouchable number of people with a deficient number of limbs. [An almost perfect odd number of points.] This item had a trick to it; colossally abundant, untouchable, deficient, and almost perfect are all types of numbers in mathematics or whatever. As the majority of teams figured out, you could complete this item by having 2 people with a normal number of limbs serve me 2 cookies. The FIST, however, either didn't notice the odd wording or neglected to Google it (perhaps their dank subterranean HQ lacks internet?) and served me over 130 cookies. Truly a colossally abundant number by any definition...except the actual one; there are no colossally abundant numbers between 120 and 360. I gave them the point anyway, since technically if you give someone 130 cookies you are also giving them 2 cookies.
- 59. [...] Turn a urinal somewhere on campus into the William Rainey Harper Monument and Urinal. [18 points] I wrote about two of the best monument/urinals earlier, and a couple other teams also completed the item respectably. Scampy, on the other hand, built me a human-size robot statue that pees when you pour water into its mouth.
- 64. Zeno's Pair-o'-Dicks. Wigner's Friend with Benefits. Buridan's Ass. Create your own porn adaptation of a famous thought experiment or philosophical problem and show us the opening scenes. [11 points] This was one of the items I was most excited to see, and I was a little disappointed by the lack of variety: 4 teams came up with variations on "Schrödinger's Pussy," 2 teams used Einstein's twins paradox, and 1 team used "the Kuntian Revolution." My favorite of the ones I saw was Scampy's special relativity video, which was both pornographic and educational!
- 65. I can't understand all your highfalutin' talk! Overset a two-leaf spread in the latest outgiven of Cosmopolitan into Anglish for me. [8 points] First of all, congratulations to Snell-Hitchcock, the only team to receive full points for this item. Their translation of a two-page article on things to do with your breasts was flawless. Several other teams gave me translations with a lot of mistakes and received partial credit. And then there was Max P, who apparently did not take the time to look Anglish up on Wikipedia:
Page captain: Oh, you mean the one translated into hick?
Page captain: The one translated into hick. [affects hillbilly accent] You know, where they talk lahk this?