Saturday, May 8, 2010


Just got back from Scav Olympics, which was great. It may just be because this was my first time at Olympics as a judge, but I think this year had particularly great events.

For example! The event where you had to squeeze as much orange juice as possible using just one hand and the external part of your face:

It was so much fun to watch, and hopefully fun to do? Most importantly, everyone ended with a delicious glass of face squeezed orange juice, which is healthy and nutritious and is an excellent start to your scav olympic day.

Jell-o Snack Cup Suckin' Contest: this was cool, but actually i think the best picture was of the GASH dude just after he finished:

HARDCORE! This dude is so hardcore.

Also: MacPierce won the Jabba the Hutt sleeping bag wrestling contest. This contest was a huge amount of fun. With our Leia, our Hutts, our Twi'lek, and MacPierce's Han Solo in carbonite, we were basically halfway to a replica of Jabba's Palace. Dare I say this was Childhood Dream #4 fulfilled? i dare to say this!

MacPierce winner, shortly before Leia strangles him with a chain, as must be done.

Judge Margaret as Leia and C-Bass as Bib Fortuna. sweet!

Then I went to see the Sponge Knight thing, where folks had to transport a certain amount of water from some little inflatable pools to some bowls a certain distance away. These were some fashionable Sponge Knights. Look:

Snell Hitchcock's sponge knight. colorful and functional!

OK but the real highlight of Olympics for me was the Caesar Cipher Spelling Bee. This was the one event I was in charge of, though it was Steven Lucy's idea. The idea is that the competitors are given a word and a shift number. For example, in the first round had you had a shift of +3, so each letter than you said was in fact 3 letters later in the alphabet than the spelling of the actual word. That is a terrible description. Let me try harder - "CAT" becomes "FDW" because F is 3 letters after C, D is 3 letters after A, etc. Each successive round had harder words and more letters that you shifted.

So the thing with this event was: Some people were crazy good at it. The last 5 people in the competition just kept spelling everything right! This was when we were at a shift of +14 (which is the same as -12) and using words like "hierarchy" and "conscience" and other words that I can't spell in regular letters.

Eventually we shifted to even harder words, like "syzygy" and "eleemosynary." guys. "eleemosynary". Think about that. Team Laney spelled this word right and didn't even take all that long to spell! Laney: I am heartily impressed. And then by being the only one to spell "ubiquitous" correctly, she won the whole dang contest. WELL DONE LANEY!

For 2nd, 3rd, and 4th place, Snitchcock, Max P, and Scampy just were too good and so Judge Jonathan suggested that we switch to a Vigenère cipher spelling bee, which is the same thing but the amount to be shifted varies from letter to letter. In this case, the key word was SCAV, meaning that your shift amount was 19, 3, 1, and 22, and then you would cycle back and start with 19 again. People were also surprisingly good at this, and, as the rest of Olympics was ending at this point, more and more judges started walking in and all of us were just so amazed at how good the players were. It was astounding. In the end, Snitchcock took second and Max P and South Campus were too evenly matched, and tied for 3rd.


I cannot say this enough: Everyone in the spelling bee: amazing. we are impressed a huge amount.

THEN all the judges went back to Seedy A and watched the classic of indonesian-xploitation films, Lady Terminator ("First she mates...then she...terminates!"). It was the best!

"I'm not a lady! I'm an anthropologist!" --Lady Terminator

"Actually, I've never been to the bathroom there. Is there just one?" --AFeld, on the phone with GASH.

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